Tuesday 23 October 2012

I Saw Him See Me.


अधिक सहस के साथ :


First things first, bollywood makes us mad. That’s why our new generation is mad, insane, reaching the peaks of craze, not that I’m excluded. Yes, Rancho was right in ‘Three Idiots’, the dupatta does fly in slow motion and background music does start playing. Invisible and inaudible, they happen. It doesn’t rain for sure, but the shower of happiness in your heart and the intense flow of blood, for the first time reaching all those long dead cells of your brain’s emotional corner for the first time happens! I know, I sound all ‘GooGoo-ish’, but maybe, maybe I am.

So, well ahem err umm, yeah, where was I? Okay, there, ahaan! Those butterflies I tell you, nectar can’t be found in my stomach, but they could try his lips. Eek, I’m being hopeless. So, as I said, bollywood makes us all insane. It has made me hopeless. I have been dragged and pushed into the well of encircling dreams and hopeless hopes. I live there. Amongst my friends, amongst my parents, brother, society, I swim in there. And it feels great!

Just the night before, he saw me doing something foolish, very foolish rather. And he smiled. I ignored, he smiled, he freaking looked back and smiled. Things rushed through me, and I don’t know what kind of things. JUST THINGS!  A few minutes ago, I’d fumbled before him, and asked him to tell me something about someone and used his name in place if that someone and went all like ‘Oh, I used your name, sorry!’ It’s okay, isn’t it? He fumbles too. DAMN, HE DOESN’T!

I don’t know why I typed the above paragraph, but I’m not deleting it.
Something happens you know. I’ve crushed trillion times, not exactly, like you believed that, but this one’s not normal. I can’t meet his eyes and my mind is all blank. I sit there in front of him with him speaking and I try to understand. Not that I’m dumb, or he is highly intellectual. Get that right.

The shape of his incisors becomes so important all of a sudden. The way he does his hair and how he sweats matters so much! It’s ridiculous, but not false! The worst kind of craziest feeling that can ever approach you is when he takes your name. He’s taken mine, so many times, that I go all ‘I-was-born-for-this-moment’-ish. He says, ‘Akanksha’ in the most beautiful possible manner that my name sounds like it’s worth a billion bucks, that too is too less at the moment. *How do I explain this?!*

Let’s get sensible. Let me do what I love doing these days. Talk about him, and insult him. Yes, weirdly I like doing it. He is, naa, it’d be rude. *How much help do I need?* Fine. A deep breath in and a long one out.  Woosh! Things aren’t getting worse, so you can relax that smile. Frankly, I don’t know why I started writing and why I’m even continuing. I’m wasting time, I know, but you’re jobless that you’re reading. So, read on.

When he enters the class room, I all shivers, I’m equal to half dead. Especially when he wears his blue and black shirt. He needs to give up on the grey one, but I have no means to let him know. He keeps his nails trimmed though. Just in case you wanted to know, and I’ve seen him wear three different shoes. He’s rich, yeahh! I hate his watch though, boring, with a leather belt. Hopeless. He just has one half- sleeved shirt I believe, probably he is a drug addict and like full sleeves even during summers. Wanna know something stupid, I can’t wait to see his winter wear. It’s gonna be our first winter!!

And now I need to stop, I’ll end with a memory of how he once asked me to calm down when I was all hyper over a silly thing. No words were used, it was simple and just involved expressions, the language of love. *AAAAAA* Okay. Thanks. Bye. <3


- आ कां क्षा .

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